Being Professional
by Gojiraxe
Summary: "I call it being professional." A quote from a hunter named Frank Devereaux. This is a Dean-centric fic, and my first fic. Dean is in a bar trying to find happiness at the bottom of a bottle, but instead he reflects. Oneshot, completed.


**Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fanfiction. I do not own Dean, or the rights to Supernatural. Please support the official release.**

**First thing first. I would like to personally thank you for taking your time to read this. I'm an amateur writer, and I look forward to everyone's feedback. Apologies in advance if there are grammar mistakes. This is my first published fanfiction, be gentle. Enjoy.**

* * *

A man sat alone in a bar. By now he had one drink too many. Most of his words were slurred, and he could barely sit up right on his own. Why should you care? Because this man is none other than Dean Winchester. The man who had selflessly saved countless lives, and even the world a handful of times.

Dean Winchester had one of the worst jobs, but it was his. He was raised into like his mother before him. His job; hunt monsters. Track down and kill any evil. No exceptions. It was the way he was brought up, the same as his brother. Although, saving the world came with a price tag.

* * *

"_Good things do happen, Dean_." Castiel to Dean.

"_Not in my experience_." Dean replied.

* * *

"Are you drinking to forget?" The bartender asked, collecting his already downed shots glasses.

To this Dean replied with one word; "Another."

To be honest he was. He wanted to forget, even only if just for a short while. He didn't want to remember all the pain, guilt and burden he carried along with his job. All Dean wanted was an escape, or a release. Just once he wanted to actually find happiness at the bottom of a bottle. Instead he was reminded there was a hole in him that no amount of sex, alcohol or pie could fill. He wouldn't ever admit it, but Dean wanted someone to take the burden that he was shouldering. Dean Winchester wanted a family, or way out. He thought he deserved at least that much, but he knew he would never have it. Not with the way he lived his life. Sure, he could quit. Of course he had tried, mulitple times. Each time failing worse than the last. There was always to always pull him back in. Even with his memory wiped of even being a hunter.

Quitting was NOT an option. It never was. A part of always knew that. Deep down his brother Sam knew it, too. Taking a "break" was a more accurate option. Dean was just getting so tired. Tired of the hurt, the pain, losing everyone close to him. Even in his own death there was still suffering. Being tortured in Hell until the baton was passed on, and he did the suffering just to be brought back to life and hate what he had become.

* * *

"_You carry all kinds of crap you don't have to._" Jo Harvelle once said to Dean.

* * *

Dean knew even if quitting was an option he wasn't allowed to.

* * *

"_Your happiness, for all those people's life, no contest_." Dean imitating his father.

* * *

Still the thought crossed his mind; What if he said yes? What if Dean Winchester said yes to Michael? What if both Winchesters said yes to the archangels. For starters, half of the planet would be destroyed. Almost all of their lifes work gone in a blink of an eye. All the hunters that died so that normal people could keep living their normal lives, so the Winchesters could keep living, would have been in vain. It would have dishonoroed their sacifice so that Dean had an easy way out. That was pretty much all it was, an easy way out.

What if Team Freewill threw in the towel, and just allowed the prize fight that Heaven wanted so badly? What if there was a way to say yes, and not destroy the planet in the process? Sam had found a way to over ride Lucifer, maybe Dean could have, too. Maybe, just maybe, Dean and Sam could have over rided Lucifer and Michael, and jumped to Lucifer's Box together.

Of course it was a long shot, and it sounded like a terrible cliche. If they were wrong it would cause half of the planet to just die off, and the aftermath would be unpredictable. But if they were right, it would be their end.

No more being brought back to life. Castiel wouldn't have had to fall from grace. There was a chance their half-brother Adam could live a normal life, again. Dean wouldn't have hurt Lisa, and Ben. The Campbells would live to see another day. The whole levithian arch could have been skipped.

It would have just been Sam, Dean, Lucifer and Michael stuck in one box. An eternity of being tortured by angels, but it was just the "blaze of glory" kind of sacrifice that would end the seemingly never-ending cycle of suffering the Winchesters go through.

This thought occasionally pops into his drunken, guilt-ridden thoughts: If Dean could go back, collect the rings and roll the dice on the brothers saying yes, would he do it? Or would he do it all over again.

Dean will never know.

As an angel once explained to Dean, being a hunter wasn't all that bad. Most people lived their whole life not knowing, and didn't even move the dirt they were buried in, but Sam and Dean Winchester were given the option to save people, and even the world.

He wouldn't ever give up hunting. Sam wouldn't either. They couldn't, for numerous reasons. Only death could bring an end to their means. Until then they were put on this Earth to hunt evil, and save as many people as they could.

Downing his last shot, Dean slid out of his chair and collected his jacket. As he was walking out of the bar the advice of another hunter rang in his ears.

* * *

"_Do it right, with a smile, or don't do it_." - Frank Devereaux

* * *

The corners of Dean's lips tugged into a smile as he left the bar, letting the door close on it's own behind him.


End file.
